Quote Of The Day 18/01/2020

SATURDAY, 18/01/2020:

Source: https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/692498880187905561/

‘Have we ever thought that being lost is our destination?’

– Craig D. Lounsbrough

Hopeless Musing #19

Dark Creature.

 

Source: https://weheartit.com/entry/320265350?context_page=4&context_query=flame+flower&context_type=search

DARK CREATURE.

When I get asked how I feel, I don’t have an answer. Because the feelings I feel are buried deep, to keep the agonizing screams at bay, that sometimes I forget there are people who don’t have to hold themselves together for fear of their chest splitting in two.

I struggle to maintain eye contact with the people that ask me this question. I’m scared that they might somehow see the darkness I hide. This facade has taken years to master, but I know it would only take one second to shatter it into a million pieces, breaking my ribs as it claws its way out.

My darkness is the witness to the worst of humanity. It is a creature, burned by ravaging fire, red-raw and unrecognizable. A creature so twisted and demented it should be dead. It is a creature in so much pain, it shrieks in agony, begging for a bullet to the head.

That’s what I am.

A creature, buried alive in a shallow grave – my surroundings infecting every burn and cut with a dirt that will never wash off. I’m held just below the surface, just deep enough to dampen my screams before they rip through the cold air.

But nobody ever hears my dark creature.

It stays buried, where only I can hear it. Every moment is agony, but we’re bound by silence, this darkness and I – like the unwritten rules of a library. And like a library, we wander through the shelves, pretending the book we want isn’t already in our hands, and that the ending we want isn’t already written.

 

 

 

The In-Between.

A poem.

 

my car sits in the car-park

atop this darkened hill,

i drove winding roads to get here

hoping my mind might untangle,

but now i’m here, i’m empty

stuck in the in-between.

 

the seat next to me is vacant,

this car seems too big.

the cold bites hard on my fingers.

it reminds me i’m alive

and that this pain is all too real

closing in on everything.

 

things aren’t always black and white

sometimes they’re grayer than the sky,

and it’s hard for me

to spend time with you

when i know

there are things i can’t share with you.

 

the wind whips my windows

as the darkness pushes in

and i realize i’m lost,

even though you said i’m not –

because i don’t know what i want

 

if it’s not you.

 

 

 

The Forest Floor.

A poem.

 

bare-foot on the forest floor

i feel the leaves and dirt

beneath me,

and find solace in the songs

of birds in the canopy

that make me feel less alone.

 

one foot in front of the other

i walk

step by step,

searching for something

i’m not sure

even exists.

 

and where on earth

am i meant to go

when there isn’t a map

no destination

nothing to guide me

and nowhere to hide?

 

who am i meant to be

when i don’t belong

and don’t fit anywhere

and everyone else seems to be

on a different frequency

to me?

 

what am i looking for

while wandering,

lost

and unsure of who

i even am

or why i’m even here?

 

when will i know

just what it is

that makes me so

impossibly,

frustratingly

different to everyone else?

 

i’m alone.

but why am i here?

maybe the meaning is

that there isn’t one,

because this forest shares no secrets

with me.

 

 

 

Quote Of The Day 23/12/2018

SUNDAY, 23/12/2018:

Source: https://weheartit.com/entry/323542403?context_page=2&context_query=fire+photography&context_type=search

‘You can love someone so much… But you can never love people as much as you can miss them.’

– John Green